Maybe we can make this a new shorthand argument against climate change deniers: “What about oyster guy?”

Megan at From the Archives explains in a post from 2008 that’s only now making the rounds thanks to Ezra Klein. She cites this guy as an example of the thousands of uncelebrated scientists-on-the-ground who gather data every day:

If it is all a conspiracy and nothing is happening, how do denialists conceive of these guys? Do they think these monotonous nerds who talk in jargon (don’t take that the wrong way. I’m sexually attracted to every one of them.) are making it up to promote the conspiracy? Like, they spend the morning thinking up esoteric ways of measuring wave energy by sand lost at different gauges around the state, and the afternoon faking their data so they can please Al Gore? They’ve done this now for ten years and they plan to make an entire career out of making up the detailed groundwork for fake climate change? All of them? On nothing? Imagine the secret conferences they must hold to synchronize their stories and settle on an allowable variance between the made-up river data, the made-up precipitation data and the made-up ocean data. Besides the groupies, WHAT FOR?

Apparently there was a specific instance of oyster research that Megan refers to that made Ezra use the term “oyster guy” for easier reference. Can we build a meme snowball? Pass it on: “What about oyster guy?”

UPDATE: If you didn’t believe Google is updating in real-time, note that my site is now #6 in Google for “What about Oyster Guy?”

Last week I went into the McDonald’s Express on 7th Avenue, not because I had any particular craving, just because I’ve come to recognize the McDonald’s (and the even more ubiquitous Starbucks) logo as the international symbol for “public restroom.” At the Express, the menu’s focus is the dollar menu. Now, in a large city, this draws a very specific demographic from the lower end of the economic spectrum. The place was populated almost entirely by sad old folks who are unwilling or unable to shop and/or cook for themselves, and by the apparently homeless and/or just plain crazy. I’m not saying it was like visiting the set of The Fisher King, but it was not your average fast food crowd.

Because I’ve learned my lesson not to use a business’s bathroom without buying something[1], I bought a $1 burger and Coke and sat down to eat (the line for the bathroom had two older ladies in front of me). An older gent sat down next to me and greeted the lady to his right with familiarity; apparently this McDonald’s is the neighborhood cafeteria, or more like the local bar for people whose drinking days are behind them.

Having seen the film version of Fast Food Nation, I’m always aware that there is a reason why the meat costs $1. I don’t eat at McDonald’s often enough for it to matter to my health[2], but it scared me to imagine that these poor souls do. And as fewer young people seem to know how to cook these days, the number of individuals on this particularly sad trajectory will only increase[3].

I’d like to blame McDonald’s or capitalism or whatever Big Evil people like to shoot at, but really it comes down to the individual’s choice of convenience. Cooking a meal requires grocery shopping, pots and pans to wash, and the time and labor of cooking. The only way out of this mess is to get people to enjoy cooking a meal or at least view it as something that must be done, like brushing your teeth. My crackpot scheme would be to change public schooling such that Home Economics is a senior-level, yearlong course; because everything I learned in Home Ec, I forgot by the time I went to college. Nutrition education needs to be expanded in there as well; kids need to know that McDonald’s should be the gustatory equivalent of candy – something that is not to be consumed in large daily quantities. But then there are a lot of things I’d like to change about public schools…

And so it goes.

1.) In ’06 I was locked in to a restaurant over near 48th street after I was seen using the restroom without buying something.
2.) I get the jones for a quarter pounder with cheese about once every three months, milkshakes one month.
3.) I am reminded of a defendant in my dad’s court whose justification for writing hot checks to Burger King was “I had to eat, your honor.” My father then informed the accused of the wonders of the grocery store, particularly the produce aisle.

Last weekend was the second in what I hope won’t be a series of remarkably shitty gigs. We drove 5 hours to Nashville to play a free show (because we’re that nice of people), and the event was organized by people who clearly know nothing about event organization. Here, then, are some handy tips to remember when planning your next entertainment event:

• If you’re going to have bands, you need to have power. Lots of it. Not a few outlets with some extension cords. This particular weakness manifested itself in frequent two-second power drops while the bands were playing. For me, it meant resetting all my sounds whenever the power went out. Which can be tricky if you’re already distracted by silly things like musical performance.
• Be sure to schedule at least 15 minutes of downtime between sets for bands to set up and break down. If you don’t, the headliner (read: us) that you scheduled for 7:00 will start at 9:00.
• If your event is outdoors and set to run beyond sundown, set up your stage in a location with adequate permanent lighting. Yes, musicians have stage lights, but what happens when they need to pack them up? In last weekend’s case the answer was: headlights.
• If you’re counting on an influx of audience members from, say, a nearby water park, make sure that said water park isn’t one day away from the end of its season.

Nevertheless, I had a highly enjoyable weekend. It consisted mainly of driving, but Bassgirl Natalie and I passed the time by playing CDs for each other, going to used book stores in Memphis, hanging out with Roy, Jo, the Murphys (Nica and Mac) and Ross Rice and generally discussing Life, the Universe, and Everything (not the Douglas Adams book, although she was actually looking to find a used copy of Hitchiker’s Guide to the Galaxy at the Memphis bookstores we went to).

Once again, I have been provided with the perfect example of a journey being far more important than the destination.

For those who haven’t seen it, Google Maps now not only contains clickable, scrollable maps of the entire US, but also satellite image composites. Years ago when I was impressed by a similar feature at MSN’s Terraserver, I linked to The Boneyard outside Tucson, Arizona.